The Violin

Got a new and better journal to write in. Lined pages, leather-bound, and big enough to write comfortably. Already breaking it in and fluffing my story a bit more, so don't look too closely if you don't want a mini-spoiler. In fact, don't look too closely even if you do want a mini-spoiler. I'd rather not ruin anyone's eyes, so I'll just rewrite it here for you.

SPOILER!

I brought the entire theater on a tour of hope, with my violin as their transportation.  I was Helios, the sun god, and my violin the chariot, carrying the sun into the sky to start a new day with endless possibility.  My violin was the Ark, and I was the dove sent by Noah to find proof of solid ground after the sins of the world had been washed away. My violin was Pandora's box, and my music was the hope left inside, alone. It was the tree that became paper used to fold a thousand paper cranes in order for a wish to be granted. And it was the seed that made it through a bitter winter to become Bette Midler's Rose.

My uncle passed away yesterday morning. I've lost quite a few people to death, 4 in my family now. No more grandparents, parents, and only one blood-related uncle is still around from previous generations. The rest are my generation or later, or married in.  Makes me wonder about my own genetics, perhaps a bit more than I should.  I wondered about this while I ate, and I wrote the following.

7 billion people
All marching in a line
And if you ask how they are
They all say they're doing fine.

7 billion people
All marching one-by-one
No time to chat nor make new friends
No time to learn what's fun

7 billion people
All following the lead
And on the path they march and march
And march until feet bleed

Seven billion people
All follow off the cliff
But some don't end their journey
Before their legs fall stiff

Seven billion people
Rarely happiness is found
Yet all too soon another one
Is buried in the ground

Seven billion people
All need to catch a breath
Just stop and smell the roses
Before they meet their death

I'm sure there's more to be written about it, perhaps even warm it up a bit, because it seems so cold. But at this time, so are my thoughts.

Back in the driver's seat

When I was a child, I was taught to pray. Before the "pleases," politeness required one to say the "thank yous." Before you asked for something, you first needed to remind yourself what you were thankful for, how much life had given you. A commonly phrased way to think about this is to count your blessings. And though a prayer tends not to take very long, in its short and sweet way it teaches us to be patient for the things that we want, for the help and guidance we need, and to bring complaints to those more able to fix them than ourselves.

I have been patient, but today is the day I get to the requests and concerns. My writing tonight, which has already gone over the hour I try to do every night, is not a story. Though just yesterday I stated I would be solely focused on writing towards my book, the events of the day have caused me to question what steps are necessary to be where I wish to be in life, and to be the man I am training myself to be. Today I found out that the person I had been requesting help from, been trusting for guidance, and been going to for support seems to have given up on me. The lack of belief in me and my ability was daunting and hard to comprehend. I am still shocked at how deeply it goes.
And though I have had similar moments previously in my life, at this time I am writing my concerns and desires for change to be more easily managed so that, like a prayer, I have brought my attention to the problem, labelled it, and set a goal.
Another phrase with a strongly religious connotation is "Let Jesus take the wheel." The idea is that sometimes a person needs to stop trying to control everything and just take a moment to see where life is headed. Unfortunately, in my life I had been driving in cruise control, and it is clear I have lost too much time. The wheel gripped tightly, I am putting the pedal to the metal to get my life back on track.

My writing today is personal and is in large part heartfelt concerns. As such, it will not be shared in so public a medium as a blog. Today's writing, now roughly two hours in the making (and still going strong), is more like a diary. Though some people may be shown a portion if it is directly tied to how they fit into my life, it is unlikely most people will even know how much frustration I have released onto the page.


Today I leave you not with a question, but with a joke to lighten the mood. Due to the somewhat religious connotation to this blog post, a joke about prayer and opportunity.
~
A man is in a horrible ship wreck, and seems to be the sole survivor. As he climbs onto floating wreckage to save himself from hypothermia, he begins to pray that he be saved from the situation. He prays that he make it home to his family and safety. And while he prays, a ship comes along. The crewmen see the man on his knees, hands clasped, and call out to him, but he does not answer, instead continuing to pray. They worry for his life and safety, and throw him a life preserver so they may bring him aboard their ship. He ends his prayer and sees them.
And the victim of the shipwreck calls out to them, "Thank you, but God is coming to save me."
~

Perhaps a bit pre-emptive, but today I spent quite a bit of time working with someone to verify grammar, etc on my work. Realized just how far I've come, and how much I still have to do.

I currently have begun writing perspectives from four separate characters. One of these will probably just be a short story, but the other three I would like to see as standalone books. Of these three, the largest are only probably 3 chapters, and the main characters are just starting to come to the main conflict of the story. They then will need to attempt to overcome it and face obstacles along the way. This is the real "meat" of the book. I fear that it may also be the reason that I have so many starts, and so few middles... Though it may also be that as I introduce new characters I work on their backstory to try to figure out what drives them and it starts turning into its own book... But I will be writing exclusively on the story of Candace, separated from her family by the quarantine, until I have a sufficient body to call a book.
Though I do state I will be exclusively writing for her book, that is not to say that I won't have other ideas and jot them down, etc. But it'll be like throwing clean clothes in a hamper while I iron out and deal with Candace's story. Once done with that, I can deal with the rest, but you can't iron all of your clothes at once.



But enough about me. Let's turn this camera around and look at the readers for a moment. Today's question for you: Does someone get called a supervillian because they are selfish, or because they do not adhere to the local laws? If someone used their powers to stop an atomic bomb, but killed 1/10th of the people it would have in the process, are they a hero or villain?
If they find the cure for cancer, but it requires body parts from a cat, would they be a hero or villain for being prepared to pay that price? If they were more ethical, and used animals that would be put down, would it require a PR campaign calling it "Animal Organ Donors," or would they still be a villain for killing the few to save the many?
That is your question for today. Is it the action that makes them villainous, is it the motivation, or is it somewhere between?

Third time's the charm

Computer is back up and running. Wasn't cheap, but definitely a notable improvement. Still sorting out some of the bits and pieces like they were battle scars of a pretty messy fight, but I'm able to sort out enough to basically pick up ahead of where I left off.

Over the weekend I had some personal time away from work, and spent it away from tv and computer screens, so backed up quite a bit of my story onto my phone (can email it to myself to get a copy on the computer). While I was doing that, I was also editing it, and shared it with someone who gave a lot of insight and I improved some areas to make the story draw people in better. Didn't end up writing today, but that happens when you drive 5 hours and then have to get everything ready for day-to-day life again.

wrote three pages today with some help and insight from my sister. and i have been making backup copies due to the recurring computer issues. but i promised not to give up, so i will not. wrote more about the mother outside of quarantine, who is now getting details of those inside of the quarantine. and it only hardens her resolve to get back to her family. but as this is by cell that wont let me capitalize or use symbols, i will end todays blog here.