Back in the driver's seat

When I was a child, I was taught to pray. Before the "pleases," politeness required one to say the "thank yous." Before you asked for something, you first needed to remind yourself what you were thankful for, how much life had given you. A commonly phrased way to think about this is to count your blessings. And though a prayer tends not to take very long, in its short and sweet way it teaches us to be patient for the things that we want, for the help and guidance we need, and to bring complaints to those more able to fix them than ourselves.

I have been patient, but today is the day I get to the requests and concerns. My writing tonight, which has already gone over the hour I try to do every night, is not a story. Though just yesterday I stated I would be solely focused on writing towards my book, the events of the day have caused me to question what steps are necessary to be where I wish to be in life, and to be the man I am training myself to be. Today I found out that the person I had been requesting help from, been trusting for guidance, and been going to for support seems to have given up on me. The lack of belief in me and my ability was daunting and hard to comprehend. I am still shocked at how deeply it goes.
And though I have had similar moments previously in my life, at this time I am writing my concerns and desires for change to be more easily managed so that, like a prayer, I have brought my attention to the problem, labelled it, and set a goal.
Another phrase with a strongly religious connotation is "Let Jesus take the wheel." The idea is that sometimes a person needs to stop trying to control everything and just take a moment to see where life is headed. Unfortunately, in my life I had been driving in cruise control, and it is clear I have lost too much time. The wheel gripped tightly, I am putting the pedal to the metal to get my life back on track.

My writing today is personal and is in large part heartfelt concerns. As such, it will not be shared in so public a medium as a blog. Today's writing, now roughly two hours in the making (and still going strong), is more like a diary. Though some people may be shown a portion if it is directly tied to how they fit into my life, it is unlikely most people will even know how much frustration I have released onto the page.


Today I leave you not with a question, but with a joke to lighten the mood. Due to the somewhat religious connotation to this blog post, a joke about prayer and opportunity.
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A man is in a horrible ship wreck, and seems to be the sole survivor. As he climbs onto floating wreckage to save himself from hypothermia, he begins to pray that he be saved from the situation. He prays that he make it home to his family and safety. And while he prays, a ship comes along. The crewmen see the man on his knees, hands clasped, and call out to him, but he does not answer, instead continuing to pray. They worry for his life and safety, and throw him a life preserver so they may bring him aboard their ship. He ends his prayer and sees them.
And the victim of the shipwreck calls out to them, "Thank you, but God is coming to save me."
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